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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346558">Water Lillies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cedes360/pseuds/Cedes360'>Cedes360</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hetalia: Axis Powers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Human &amp; Country Names Used (Hetalia), Hurt/Comfort, Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:09:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,799</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cedes360/pseuds/Cedes360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alfred And Yue talk about the burdens of being nations and the longing to be human and mortal.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>America/China (Hetalia), America/Female China (Hetalia)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Water Lillies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is an old Fic I wrote back in 2011 and had posted to FF.net. I finally dusted it off, edited it, tweaked some things, and decided to repost it here so I can have all my fic in one place.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pale moonlight illuminated the area as the blond man sat on the ground. Blue eyes were on the large lake in front of him, yet it was as though he didn't see it. Mind focused on some distant world in another period of time, Alfred was lost in his own thoughts as he waited for Yue.</p><p>The younger western nation and the eastern country had recently become much closer and quite often visited one another's homes and cities. Yue always marveled at American culture and customs, while Alfred was awed and humbled by her land’s rich history.</p><p>A sound signaled her arrival. Alfred snapped out of his trance-like state and turned his head towards the tree line from which the small Asian nation emerged. He couldn't help but smile as she approached him and took a seat in the dirt beside him. They spoke no words for a moment and both enjoyed the comfortable silence between them and the rest of the Earth. Occasional ripples in the water of fish and insects finally coaxed the blond to speak.</p><p>"I'm glad you could make it. I was kinda starting to think you wouldn't show." They both knew that was a lie. If Yue had been in her home country of China and Alfred had called to meet, she would have booked the next flight to America and visa versa.</p><p>"If you thought that, then you're quite foolish. Either you don't know me very well or don't trust me to keep my word," she retorted with mock offense. "So what do you want?"</p><p>Alfred chuckled. That was Yue. She liked to keep things short, sweet, and to the point.</p><p>"Just been feelin' kinda, I dunno, not too good.” He paused briefly then continued, “things are really hard right now. And I just don't know what to do anymore."</p><p>Yue said nothing for a moment. "Alfred, things are hard for everyone. The whole world is falling apart right now, but it's nothing new. Countries rise and fall and then rise again if they're lucky. Each of us reached our peaks and each of us fell, some higher and harder than others. Look at Arthur. He owned half the world at one point and now he's nothing but an island."</p><p>This was why Alfred enjoyed the woman's company. She was much older than him and more experienced. She had seen more and lived through more.</p><p>"Yeah, but I'm The United States of America. I'm not supposed to fall. I'm supposed to be the hero and lead the world!” He gave an exasperated huff, his voice getting louder and more urgent as he spoke his worries to her. “I don't know what to do about this. I'm in so much debt. My people are unhealthy and fat. I have so many people in prison right now. I have all these horrible stereotypes about me and the whole world just hates me right now! But they won't say it to my face because they know I'm still stronger and they're afraid of me." </p><p>The smaller woman tucked a stray strand of  black hair behind her ear and gave a small knowing smile. "Alfred," the two didn't even remember when they had stopped calling each other by their countries and had gotten on a first name basis, "you became too powerful too fast. It was your youth, determination, and spirit that won you your independence. You had your bursts of prosperity and good times. You were the promised land. Everyone from everywhere, including my people, wanted to immigrate to your rich land. But you are not perfect. No one is perfect. You do not need to be this 'hero' for everyone. You must do the best you can for your own country and people and not worry about what other nations may think of you."</p><p>Alfred remained quiet, gears turning in his head. His eyes locked on to the deep lake once more. The still surface stretched out like smooth black glass beneath the night sky. The blond stood and walked closer to the edge of the water.</p><p>"Yue, do you like being a country?"</p><p>The Chinese woman was taken aback by the other's question. "Well,” she chose her words carefully, “it can certainly be difficult. But also rewarding. Feelings of accomplishment, and I suppose-"</p><p>"I know," he cut her off, "but if you had the choice to be a country or human what would you choose?"</p><p>There was a long pause. The silence was almost deafening. Neither of them seemed to realize the crickets or other wildlife active around them. Yue turned her face away. Eyes downcast, she finally responded in a soft voice. "Alfred, you shouldn't think that way. We are what we are, and we cannot change that."</p><p>Alfred turned back towards the large mass of water before him. "I know. But just think about it. To be human. Not having to worry about an entire nation's well being. Not having to be responsible for thousands, even millions of lives. Not having to go through the horrors of war repeatedly time and time again. People don't know how lucky they have it. To just live without any real worries. To be responsible for only yourself. And then finally to reach your end and-"</p><p>"Alfred!" Yue snapped. "Every human wishes for immortality and fears death. Having a life like yours would be a blessing to them and yet you treat it as a curse."</p><p>"It is a curse, Yue,” he snapped back. Alfred caught himself and exhaled the tension from his body, letting his words return to a calm tone as he tried again to explain and make her understand. “I just want this all to be over already. People are naïve and don't understand the consequences that come with living forever. Well, maybe not forever, but for centuries. I mean look at Rome and Prussia. I kind of envy them. They finally got out of this mess."</p><p>Another pregnant pause filled the air as both reflected on the younger nation's words. There was a sad longing in Alfred's eyes as he peered into the deep waters. Yue finally broke the silence with a sigh. "Alfred,  I was young once as well. I understand your thoughts and feelings, but over time you'll come to accept things as they are." She stood and walked to the American's side. "But I do understand your desire for death as well.  Many countries have tried to end their lives, but it's only a temporary release. We always wake up with the same problems and a bloody mess to clean."</p><p>The blond didn't seem to listen as he began to slide off his shoes. "Even if we can't die, even if we aren't human, let's pretend. Just for tonight okay?"</p><p>She furrowed her thin brows in confusion and watched the younger man begin to remove his socks. "I don't understand."</p><p>Alfred held his hand out to her as he stepped a foot into the icy cold waters. "Countries can't die, and it's frowned upon to fall in love because it only causes complications with political stuff. And we can't fall in love with humans, look what happened with France and Joan of Arc. So let's pretend. Let's imagine we're human tonight. That we fear death and we're allowed to fall in love. We can do things and actually be afraid because we're risking something: our lives. We have excitement and adrenaline pumping knowing that we're so fragile. That we can't survive a gunshot or a stab wound. That our time is limited and each second we waste is precious time we can't get back."</p><p>Yue felt herself flush slightly. Alfred always had a way with words. That was America: advertising and glorifying things. Even when they were harmful. Yet she couldn't help but be drawn in by his spirit and fervor. She smiled as she slid her own slippers off her feet and stepped forward so her toes plunged into the cold and welcoming waters.</p><p>Alfred smiled back at her as he continued on. Hand in hand, the two ventured further and deeper into the depths of the vast lake. The icy liquid soaked into their clothes and stung mercilessly at their skin. Wading out towards the center, the two eventually began to swim to the middle of the lake where the ground was far beneath them and they could no longer stand. Floating together, Alfred wrapped his arms around Yue as her teeth began to chatter. He was also shaking, and his skin was cold against hers.</p><p>Their eyes met for a moment and both of them knew what was coming next. Alfred took a breath and allowed himself to sink into the deep abyss. Yue followed after him. Hands latched on tight to one another, both watched as water and darkness blurred their vision and soon separated the two. Hands and touch now the only thing connecting them, Yue felt her chest begin to tighten and her lungs burn. She opened her mouth and large bubbles floated up to the surface. At that moment she felt Alfred pull her close and press his lips to hers. Opening his mouth, he pushed the little air he had in his lungs into hers and pulled away.</p><p>The American's face contorted with pain and discomfort as he gasped for nonexistent air. The color in his face changed from red to blue and soon enough Yue felt her own chest begin to constrict and throb. She gasped and swallowed generous amounts of water. She felt Alfred squeeze her hand in momentary fear. Dying wasn't a terrifying thing to her. She had been through it multiple times. But Alfred's words had gotten to her. What if this really was the last time? What if while she was incapacitated something happened to her capital, a major city, or her economy in one night? It was far-fetched, but then again, Alfred's whole world was turned upside down when his stock market crashed. Things happened gradually and over time, but there was always the possibility of something sudden and unexpected. A slight wave of panic and fear gripped her heart tightly. It throbbed with pain each time it tried to pump blood and soon enough it too gave up, like her lungs.</p><p>Alfred was already gone. Yue floated for a moment as her strength and energy left her. Much to her surprise, she felt relieved and comforted. Even if they didn't wake up the next day on the shore, she would be alright with that. She forgot about all her troubles and worried for a moment, forgot about the numerous scars on her body, and allowed herself to relax. She gave the other's lifeless hand one last squeeze as she drifted off to meet him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Special shout out to FF.net user "The Fairy Cake". They left a long ass comment on the original draft with various notes and critiques on my grammar. At the time, teenage me was a little butthurt. But coming back to it a few years later, I'm very grateful and happy they liked it and left me the notes. I've now seen the light and realize that first drafts are not always the best ones lmao. And I honestly wish I had spent more time editing and looking at my writing with a more critical gaze when I first started.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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